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It's the coolest grayest Beltaine-tide in a while, but I'm not complaining [while bracketing whatever chaos factors of anthropogenic effect probably shift our weather systems this way alongside more harmful changes]--- it seems peaceful, and dreamy, and a suitable cauldron for all the big gentle changes and creative work in my life right now.

For those who don't know: I've been working on my own Tarot deck, a deeply magical, elemental, Jewitchy deck with a zinester aesthetic. It's called the Hidden Light, and if you want to preorder a deck and make a pledge to help get it into the world you can do that here:

Today is my last day teaching at Stony Brook (and also the last day of my retiring feminist philosophy prof/diss. committee member with the lemon meringue hair who's seated next to me on the bus, typing away after our conversation about the imagined Retired Itinerant Philosphers' E-ssociation), last day schlepping out there 'til diss defense (if I can't do that in the city) and graduation. My final paper for my last bit o' wags (women&gender) coursework is a zine that I'll finish pasting and photocopy at school. A good time to end.

Then, this month I'll finish my last diss. chapter and send it out, start revising, write an intro & conclusion, defend in the fall. The end of an era (called what, institutional student? I'm always learning but this is something else, a shift to the other side).

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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I have so much to write and share with you guys, but since I'm about to go to bed for now it's just my eerily-spot-on horrahscope:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I expect your zest for life has rebounded with abundant fervor, Gemini. These couple weeks offer you easy access to some of the most effortless happy-moments you'll experience in 2013… and hopefully without the pressure to ensure they are also the most profound, meaningful, goal-oriented and/or life-changing. Too often, we sell out or trade away the smaller treats and treasures of life, wagering our whole wad instead on the kind of legendary jackpots that only come around once in a very long while, if at all. And what do we have to show for it? A constant waiting-and-wondering that leaves us ungratified and unappreciative, even as countless opportunities for passing pleasure and mutually stimulating interchange are left squandered or unremarked-upon. In other words, don't let the ultra-advantageous sentiments of this horoscope leave you hunting feverishly around for whether this or that will prove to be the big 'Happy-Moment': If you're hunting, you're already trying too hard. So much of what you really and truly desire is already here, hoping against all hope you'll simply acknowledge it.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you're not grooving on any of the pre-designated choices being offered, Gemini, by all means create a better option. Your current astrology too swimmingly favors your embrace of bold door-opening approaches for you to lazily settle for the same predictable slate of possibilities. If you are unable to tap into the wider-lens view necessary for seeing what else is possible, your top priority should be stepping back from the day-to-day grind (which your close-up immersion in is obviously blocking your creative process)… and taking part in whatever sorts of vision-questy, self-explorationy, life-question-askingy activities might crack open your fruitlessly closed-mind perspective on this matter. This could include working through workbook-type exercises, speaking to a spiritual counselor (or your preferred version), taking a quick day-trip retreat, journaling, meditating, or any similar such involvement specially intended to broaden your thinking. What you don't need to do: indulge that voice who wants to play back what's already happened, trying to convince you that's all there will ever be.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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I'm drinking dark rum on the rocks with grenadine and lemon, missing the lime, greasing up my leather
this is something like le souci de soi, I hope.
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Definitely, finally praying and practicing helped. But my little evening walk with Critter just let it all soak in and snap into place: the golden summer light, my new-to-me gay neighbor on 122nd so handsome he makes me blush, dog conversations on the stoop (Critter eating fortune cookie crumbs from underneath Mac's chair and Mac saying something like, "Critter wants to hang out here with the men but he can't cos he don't have no nuts!"), picking stinging nettle from the weed-patch fence near the garden (my neighbor Mac again, asking do I know what this is and am I gonna eat it?) I do love living someplace where I can walk around with a weed in my hand and people wanna know if it's dandelion or turnip greens or what and am I gonna cook it. I put it on my altar instead, this towering spindly nettle. I'm glad I don't look a total mess in my (T's) SO.DO.MY shirt and green shorts but I should remember to put a little something on it now that I've got this hot neighbor! We dog-talked cos he's got a dog and I recounted Critter's slutty adventures in the dog park. "He had a real power-bottom morning," I said. "Sounds good to me," new neighbor said, smiling up at me from his crouch on the ground, screwing nails into wood planks.

And now, I need some yoga, and a hyssop bath, and to decide whether or not to go out tonight.
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The other night, not last night but some night I dreamt that the moon was waning, just like in real life, but everyone kept trying to convince me it was full. No no I said, I knew we're almost at the end of Tammuz and Rosh Chodesh is coming soon, no mames. But then the moon split full-sense-soaked huge on the scene, fat and glowing harvest-orange and full to bursting, pushing back at the accordion-folds of darkness.
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This morning smelled like tea tree and rose oil, lit my candles and wrapped tefillin, warm beeswax and leather. Nine hours of sleep in my love's arms, vivid dreams and a good little chunk of writing done last night and about to leave for class soon. I'm not gonna beat myself up for not super-efficiently using this early-afternoon to write; I'll have other opportunities to do establish discipline and writing routines. Right now I'm just feeling grateful and aligned, a more open channel, flow between my souls and an abating sinus ache.
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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Skip the sharing of candy-coated sentiments that'll only ring halfway true because… well, they're halfway not-quite-true. You're in a spot where people are likelier to respond favorably to you, Gemini, as long as you're being as unflinchingly authentic as possible. Be aware, of course, that 'responding favorably' doesn't neatly equate to 'agreeing with you' or 'refraining from poking holes in your story'. But being amenable to these so-called disagreeable behaviors, too, is an important part of establishing trustworthy relationships with the folks who will love you come rain or shine. After all, if you instead continue circumventing areas of potential difference, you will never get to know each other better… and they'll only see the side of you that forefronts what you have in common, essentially squirreling other parts of your personality away from them, as if you somehow aren't entirely proud of all of yourself. (This is not a recipe for interpersonal growth.) For your own sake, please take pride in your unified self, warts and obvious inconsistencies and all, without worrying about who you are showing which facets to. You're due to attract some new friends in the coming months, and you'll cast the widest net (and increase your chances of finding really wonderful allies who'll endure through the long haul) if you flaunt it all—and allow them to step toward you, not under false pretenses but with ample awareness of your complexities.

((from astrobarry))
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1) beautiful sunny fall day
2) dog run
3) coffee with cream
4) decoupage (found blank hardback notebook on the next block over, turned into 7-pointed star assignment book)
5) allurement
6) later: gym, readings, csa, dinner-cookin', new year

the book came out so pretty ) I almost don't wanna use it for what I'd intended.


Oct. 28th, 2008 10:35 am
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Two weeks too late
I open up a book of poems, one poet imagining another
in an airport, picking up Oshun.
Prick and spin
it’s almost Samhain, been raining all day
A friend comes home with five pounds of honey,
cooks bok choy in bacon grease.
The jar sits on the shelf
decoction of sunlight grown heavy behind glass.
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Now that I'm back on here, I'm really posting with a vengeance! Anyway, today I scored two beautiful pairs of boots for comparatively little money, whee! )

With Oya's (the friend, not the orisha) advice and a couple pairs of insoles and heel thingies, I even managed to make the obviously-too-large Chelsea boots fit like a dream, baruch Hashem.
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1) Late August back home in PA makes me understand the dying god, burgeoning sun within the Earth, the grass getting dry where maple and oak leaves can't outstretch their shade. Everything is lush, the clouds thick and bramble buzzing with bees, butterflies, a red-tailed hawk keeeeing off over the hills somewhere. Everything is rolling, tumbling, sticky with sex.

So, a poem I wrote back in summer of 2002. )

2) I smell like dry woodsy vetiver and skin-salt, oceanic dry grass and geranium. I love it.

3) Rory's sister got married (my first gay wedding-- I felt so much less cynical than I'd expected!) and seeing Rory was great. We took a eucalpytus-y sauna together and talked late about Gods and spirits, woke up and had coffee and weird pillsbury orange rolls before the caterers arrived for brunch, went swimming. She smokes Marlboro Smooths now and claims they taste like Thin Mints. I got a bunch of her old t-shirts that don't fit her now and I especially love the pale yellow one with big painty flowers and the Barbara Kruger "you construct intricate rituals..." one which is hard-won (I only got it cos it's so small.)


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