starfrosting: (firmament)

Last night Di came over and we cleared the air by virtue of a bro'down, him kinda talking me into the ground a bit but eventually me too stoned to care too much, glad to be sliding back into more normal friendship with its conative powers. I woke up on too little sleep (completely tore up by that boxing fight that was on last night blaring out someone's window, tons of yelling and street noise into the night, Critter getting into it, ugh), Di already left the sofa to go surfing, prayed and had a nice walk with Critter and then off to a family lambroast for Greek Easter out in Brooklyn at a cousin Markos' place. The sky was azure, lots of family scattered elsewhere but my cousins down from Cambridge, my dad's Cousin Stephen manning the lamb which I couldn't (or, at least, wouldn't) eat, my great-Uncle Yannis the patriarch of the family (in good health despite oxygen) and his partner Kristina, spanikopita and touropita and choriatiki with dressing Yannis made and koulourakia, dry red wine and a keg in the corner, little past-toddling-age bebes everywhere, so much beauty and family joy. I was a little nervous 'bout showing up the sole representative of my more "immediate" family, bearded and all, but instead I just got the warmest love (& Yannis, white-bearded himself, complimented my beard, in a way that made it no issue at all). Now I'm home body aching, impending doom about work but at this point I'm inclined to just enjoy the evening and banch it out later this week.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

starfrosting: (Default)
grateful grateful grateful exhausted.
okay chicken dumpling soup in my belly, critter on my lap,
short workout long day so much to do this week all of it good.
need water.
starfrosting: (Default)
The moon must be waning because I want to cull, cull, cull! organize + eliminate. It feels great to finally do it! Split that infinitive hard, okay, cos I just cleared a whole space. Taylor's room looks better already.

I got to leave work way early today because I'm technically contagious and while I got a stormcloud over my head for a minute when I thought I'd ruined one of my most favorite pair of shoes by smearing beeswax conditioner all over their non-smooth surface, that cleared. I got a nubuck cleanin' kit from the CVS and prayed over my shoes, seriously, Blessed art You...Revitalization, creation and beauty. They look a lot better now.
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1) Last night we went to go see Amy Ray and I got accidentally-on-purpose drunk, you know, the kind when you drink like you're on a mission to get there fast and then, oops, it's only the opener! That just made it even better when Kaia came on stage-- I mean, when Amy Ray actually started. Kaia flipped her hair a lot and I swooned. I was bouncing around on the toes of my docs a lot and once I tipped forward onto the people in front of me, oops, but what's a fucken show if people are gonna act like that's unseemly? I had a lot of fun, felt my heart screw open wider.

2) I'm grateful that somehow blessedly the men I work with in the kitchen do not see me in a mis-angled light- they name me right, call me amigo and toss cans of coke tight to my chest.

3) from "Ode to Elegance," from the calculus of variation, DiPrima:
[...]
let us now praise all fleshly consummation
(the elegance of sweat)
initiation
into the burning loneliness of this place
desert of salt
immense intoxication
in this white light
under this rush of wind
all things teem forth like dust motes in the air

that all things send forth love, inanimate
that all these loves have mingled in the air
and set up a great clangor
in the nodes
heart of this sound, this deadly spirit love
a cosmos come to birth

[...]

pride/hide

Feb. 28th, 2008 08:44 pm
starfrosting: (Default)
Tonight has been really good. I went for dinner at a taqueria I really like with an old/new friend who I'm happy to be seeing more of; she's warm and smart and genuine and great to chew the fat with. I came into a leather jacket that makes me feel strangely blessed, a mantle of accumulated butch strength on my shoulders. It was so cold out I thought I'd have to take a train over, but luckily I decided to walk the 3 avenues 16 blocks over with twilight lasting longer than I thought, the stars only blinking out in the cold on my way home.
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Reading David Abram on the train today made me wonder what forces am I out of balance with? what's causing this sadness? )

* * *
And then last night picking through the rapidly-wilting greens to make a salad, I remembered that as one of my least favorite kitchen tasks, picking through the huge plastic sacks of mesclun that go so quickly and smell so foul. Picking through with my little nimble fingers I realized, I don't *make* anything in my job. ) Immaterial indeed.
starfrosting: (Default)
Grateful for the peaches from home, juice rolling down my arm.
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+ new nail buffer that looks like a pregnancy test
- smoking buckets of cigarettes
+ drinking a pint of iced coffee while stoned (no sugar, some milk)
+ reading anti-oedipus and actually understanding some of it
+ a pretty fabulous haircut
+ gorgeous spring day
- 4 1/2 hours of sleep
+ sending out packages
+ correspondence
-/+ weird phone calls with C.
+ sunroof and music
+ solitude

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