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Like the annual books-read lists of Finn and Lisa, my dirty laundry of unpaid library fines over the years-- half as long as it should be cos at some point I broke down and paid a bunch so I could check out/put books on hold again.

packing

Jul. 8th, 2014 09:36 pm
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In addition to the ush' (4 or 5 t-shirts, ditto on undies, spare tzistzis, passport etc), I am folding into my backpack:
-pocketknife
-"gentleman's" mirrored compass (both from my Daddy-o)
-Tarot pack
-siddur, tehillim & tefillin
-comp for diss writin'
-Ethics& folder o' essays for ditto
-Seferides poems
-salt-worn brass clips
-green bandana, spare kippah(s)
-dop kit consisting of karpouzi sunstick, toothbrush, t etc
-whale sweatshirt
-anchor hat
-special kosh wine Hunter gave me for my bday, wrapped in my hooded beach towel
-travel wallet w/Rebbe card and tzedakah from my hevrusa (so "[I] can be shliach mitzvah")
-borrowed travel guitar
&c















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The new moon makes me permeable and weepy, even on T, last night spent on the verge of tears even hours after a good kitchen-table talk with my bro about long-held character misgivings etc re: T., the times he had that other boy over while I was away and how it weirded my brother out, the context, the superficiality, the way he apparently "looks just like you, well, you know," another small dark-haired tranny with sturdy hips I guess, what do I know. I dragged myself to the gym to break the post-bus hit-by-a-truck feeling before a couple hours of work at MaxCaffe over milky black tea. Then cos all I wanted was to smoke cigarettes I treated myself to veggie bun xao noodles from Saga (another trigger, where Daddy used to buy us food, credit cards I can't remember and probably maxed out anyway still on file) for dinner instead and bought a cheap bottle of Camenere from Harlem Vintage. Le souci de soi, and this morning:

-modeh ani when I wake up gray outside ready to cry
-wiping down the baseboards
-oatstraw infusion in the washed-out jar from the preserved lemons, switched to the scrubbed-out jar from last solstice's sourdough starter
-tefillin, feeding the dove, a kala I need more of
-to the gym! deadlifts to Gillian's harrow and harvest
-picking up my tailored hand-me-down diesels, the winter coat I never dry-cleaned til now
-seeing Sebastian in for his stay
etc etc etc, this is life now. Today I have to present in BioLogix on a paper I haven't really written yet, but luckily I'm retooling an essay I worked on before so I should be able to turn it out without getting tweaked; I really am trying to do it without pills now, for this paper at least.






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Wrapped in a Holy Flame, R. Zalman Schachter-Shalomi
Becoming Animal, David Abram
Torah Journeys, R. Shefa Gold
Torah, the Artscroll edition tanakh
The Calculus of Variation, Diane DiPrima
Greek Tragedies vol. 1, borrowed from Di
Tales of the Hasidim, Martin Buber, scored tonight at Westsider after Kabbalah class
Cunning Folk and Familiar Spirits, Emma Wilby

shortstack

Nov. 28th, 2010 05:12 pm
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On the kitchen table:
On the Wings of Shekhinah
Philosophy in the Tragic Age of the Greeks
Listening to the Land

In a nutshell, really.
(And oh, the mostly-used books I've purchased recently waiting to arrive:
-Rami Shapiro's so far just-okay guide to Tanya
-Your Word is Fire on Hasidic prayer
-David Abram, Becoming Animal
-Emma Wilby, Cunning Folk and Familiar Spirits
-a book on Kabbalah in tarot
-A Sand County Almanac

I really went wild.)
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1) I'm really tired. Today I came home from work with a peacock eye bobbing emerald and cobalt above my crown-- no, really-- and a lady outside the adventist church said, "Only one!? Where's the other one?" I told her I was working on my collection; really it's an offering/gift for T.

2) Sometimes I think I could make myself a Butchies mixtape and be happy any time of year.

3) I think I want to do Birthright before it's too late but I'm also kind of terrified at the prospect (of going to Israel, under those auspices, etc). On the other hand if my only real plan B is the rabbinate then I should really at least get over there and see/hear Hebrew. And it would be a great jumping off point to *Greece which I've been missing terribly and Turkey too. It would be awesome to be able to go through ALEPH (the Jewish Renewal organization).

eight stack

Sep. 2nd, 2010 06:47 pm
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After an awesome French reading class today I was struck with frittering anxiety gathering speed so I walked in the hot heat, got a smoothie 10ยข short from a truck on University and set to combing the stacks outside the Strand. Sometimes, like today, the dollar racks are a blessing from the city/universe/Gods. I scored:

-A three-inch wide book called The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling with illustration plates, a gift for Taylor.

-Escoffier's Ma Cuisine, in English malheureusement.

-The Kybalion, a little blue hardback book of soi-disant Hermetic philosophy

-Woman Who Glows in the Dark, about curanderismo

-The Quantum Gods, a real black occult paperback from Weiser

-Paul Auster's City of Glass, which the guy inside congratulated me on

-A dark little gastronomical novel called The Debt to Pleasure with a cut-out on the jacket framing a picture of a peach

-And oh, maybe the best for last, Kazantzakis' The Saviors of God: Spiritual Exercises
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the path of blessing, marcia prager
ethics, baruch spinoza
enchantment emporium, tanya huff
funeral rites, jean genet
vibrant matter, jane bennett


Tonight in yoga I actually forgot what I was worrying about for a few breaths, wow. I leave for Greece in a week.
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1) I've got strep! again. This afternoon I squeezed myself into an appointment at the student health center on 12th st, where I bonded with a very new-yorky nurse by telling her my mom's a PA. She appreciated that I've been sick since Thursday but was only just now seeking treatment, and told me to tell my mom "that she raised a very nice boy, very well-trained."

(Incidentally, I was really impressed by how casually queer and trans-positive they were there, despite being initially put off by a disgusting piece of hetero clipart on their little desk basket of condoms. Their intake forms were good and probably facilitated the positive stress-free reaction I was able to have with the nurse and doc I saw. This compared to getting called "ma'am" over the phone when I called C-L's urgent care line early this morning. I know they were just trying to be polite but it's always too early for that shit.)

2) This is starting to look like a personal seasonal cycle for me: Last year only 3 weeks from now I had strep throat, what the hell. What can I do to stop this from happening??

3) I certainly skipped all my classes tonight as a result, last of the semester if I don't go to the French rendezvous tomorrow. It seems a fitting end to a semester I could scarcely fit into the groove. Now all I have to do is write something on/inspired by Aristotle's Physics I can actually be proud of in two weeks' time, but I'll deal with that come Friday. Right now I'm obsessively tailoring a mixtape like the Virgo I might've been, buzzed on a tiny tumbler of wine.
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what I'm reading now:
what do gay men want, david halperin
unlimited intimacy, tim dean
meeting the other crowd, eddie lenihan

pretty much sums it up.
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References and recommended reading )
for my workshop on Jewish and Pagan (well, Feri) mysticism.
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1) beautiful sunny fall day
2) dog run
3) coffee with cream
4) decoupage (found blank hardback notebook on the next block over, turned into 7-pointed star assignment book)
5) allurement
6) later: gym, readings, csa, dinner-cookin', new year

eta:
the book came out so pretty ) I almost don't wanna use it for what I'd intended.

pop

Jul. 27th, 2009 05:10 pm
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1)I am in love with Noxzema! I know it's not good to wash yr face too much but that stuff just tempts me.

2)Right now I want to go drink a big glass of water and eat the dark red cherries in our fridge drawer, spit the pits.

3)I'm proud of myself today for taking responsibility without taking any shit, you know?

4)I have soo many new books to read- trying to cram it all in before school starts at the end of the month-- it's almost overwhelming!

5)Is it just me or are the leaves getting ready to drop?
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right now:
Ecstasies Carlo Ginzburg
Walker Between the Worlds RJ Stewart
The Spell of the Sensuous David Abram

Also, I still have some magical books for sale ) if you're interested.
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Omg I am so tired, it's 1 o'clock and I'm still not awake even after coffee-milk. If I can just accomplish something before Feri stuff tonight I will feel okay, especially since I have to work tomorrow. Today's goals:
1) Rhubarb crisp.
(Okay, actually, 1): Ha prayer and kala. 2): Rhubarb crisp. Which makes:)
3) Paper expansion (possible publication).
4) Laundry.
Oops also 5) Work out.

Everything is totally doable.

stacks

Apr. 26th, 2009 11:31 am
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-On the Mystical Image of the Godhead, Gershom Scholem-- dry!
-Goddess Initiation, Francesa DeGrandis
-The Tree of Enchantment, Orion Foxwood
-Apprenticed to Magic, W.E. Butler-- charming!
-More Derrida than you can shake a stick at, including Borradori's book of interviews. Whoever thought I'd be picking that up again.
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-2 songs about Jericho today
-so many books:
kissing the limitless
dislocating cultures
understanding deleuze
endgame v.2 (and probably more)
-a raise, which helps
-polytheistic guilt
-but also newfound discipline (new twists on daily practice reinvigorates me and, surprise, centers + aligns)
-a gum-chew hole in my head
-clear cold sunshine
-gotta go to the gym!
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1) Last night we went to go see Amy Ray and I got accidentally-on-purpose drunk, you know, the kind when you drink like you're on a mission to get there fast and then, oops, it's only the opener! That just made it even better when Kaia came on stage-- I mean, when Amy Ray actually started. Kaia flipped her hair a lot and I swooned. I was bouncing around on the toes of my docs a lot and once I tipped forward onto the people in front of me, oops, but what's a fucken show if people are gonna act like that's unseemly? I had a lot of fun, felt my heart screw open wider.

2) I'm grateful that somehow blessedly the men I work with in the kitchen do not see me in a mis-angled light- they name me right, call me amigo and toss cans of coke tight to my chest.

3) from "Ode to Elegance," from the calculus of variation, DiPrima:
[...]
let us now praise all fleshly consummation
(the elegance of sweat)
initiation
into the burning loneliness of this place
desert of salt
immense intoxication
in this white light
under this rush of wind
all things teem forth like dust motes in the air

that all things send forth love, inanimate
that all these loves have mingled in the air
and set up a great clangor
in the nodes
heart of this sound, this deadly spirit love
a cosmos come to birth

[...]
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I've been reading:
The Essential Kabbalah, Daniel Matt
The Ladder of Lights, William Gray
Working The Spirit, Joseph Murphy

And today I just picked up from the library:
flash of the spirit, Robert Farris Thompson
mumbo jumbo, Ishmael Reed

Lots of books by boys, at least since I paused with Pedagogies of Crossing (I savored the last chapter and saved the rest for later.)

I got shoe dye at the deli downstairs!

inventory

Oct. 13th, 2008 04:18 pm
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Books, Harlem, 10/13/08) )

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