sex and dying in high society

1. So much to free-associate about my new job but I'm so exhausted. Suffice it to say that:
a)it's basically as easy as pie
b)the chef takes shortcuts I (and Val, for that matter) would never take
but I guess that's okay cos the food's decent and it fits the point of the restaurant I suppose, which is simple and filling and accessible and production-based
c)I'm not emotionally or intellectually stimulated by anyone there,
which is to be expected I guess but in the past I've been lucky enough to not have that be the case
d)there's a chance that some of them might think I'm straight. and, you know, that none of them know I'm a guy. dommage. and yet, strangely funny
e)I miss Val so, soo much. I started to compose a letter to him in my head whilst working but because I'm sleep-deprived it's pretty much gone. I kind of need to come out to him I think

2. "A dozen yellow roses/ is all that's left/ in Minneapolis..."

3. G-ddamn sometimes I feel so fucking full of happiness, poised on the brink of some blessing that just keeps bursting off inside my skin. It's nice.

4. Oh, the trans studies reader that I forgot I pre-ordered 7 years ago somehow got forwarded down here, yay. It got a little rained on but it'll be okay. I've been thinking about it all day, burning a whole in my pocket. It's upstairs sitting on top of my covers now. I keep thinking about it in that way that you (I) do when you have a new sex toy waiting in a cardboard postal box that you want to unwrap.

5. If I go to sleep soon in theory I could sleep for 12 hours and still have a little bit of a day before ambling into work at 4. mmmph!