starfrosting (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starfrosting) wrote2005-02-15 04:47 pm
starfrosting) wrote2005-02-15 04:47 pm
en gallop.
I really have to pee, but just really quickly:
-beautiful spring day. I know it's gonna get cold again, but all the mud and puddles are delightful, the sky is blue cool little wind and sunny sunny warm. mmmm.
-tobacco.
-Queer Theory, while somewhat annoying, had its good points, namely Jami's gender performativity diagram.
-talking about sex with Matt Kane is a delight.
-Keren and Drake and Brendan and Michelle? yay!!
-I did yoga today. not very rigorously, but still.
-I've been eating well too.
-The light air outside is making me glad to be alive. Overall this means I feel entirely content to put my fresh clean sheets on my bed and read for a little bit, for fun, and then dig into my work.
On the theme of work, ((Drake + Evren, yr advice was helpful in figuring this out, by the way :)) This in turn makes it difficult for me to push through various blocks I have, such as an inability to manage time + an aversion to studying. Also, having pride in my various areas of knowledge and ability to articulate my ideas- some of which I do think have potential to be developed in exciting ways- is something that sustains me---I just need to figure out how to not let it hold me back, how to not have ego invested to the point that it actually stops me from stepping back from my work and figuring out how to make it better. Here's where unwinding comes in, and really being rigorous about my work when I sit down to do it. We shall see.
On the other hand, I am carrying some feelings of dread around Phenomenology class tomorrow. Oh well.
Ooh, and going with my girl to see Schreier lecture about Algeria and Jews and France tonight--whee!
-beautiful spring day. I know it's gonna get cold again, but all the mud and puddles are delightful, the sky is blue cool little wind and sunny sunny warm. mmmm.
-tobacco.
-Queer Theory, while somewhat annoying, had its good points, namely Jami's gender performativity diagram.
-talking about sex with Matt Kane is a delight.
-Keren and Drake and Brendan and Michelle? yay!!
-I did yoga today. not very rigorously, but still.
-I've been eating well too.
-The light air outside is making me glad to be alive. Overall this means I feel entirely content to put my fresh clean sheets on my bed and read for a little bit, for fun, and then dig into my work.
On the theme of work, ((Drake + Evren, yr advice was helpful in figuring this out, by the way :)) This in turn makes it difficult for me to push through various blocks I have, such as an inability to manage time + an aversion to studying. Also, having pride in my various areas of knowledge and ability to articulate my ideas- some of which I do think have potential to be developed in exciting ways- is something that sustains me---I just need to figure out how to not let it hold me back, how to not have ego invested to the point that it actually stops me from stepping back from my work and figuring out how to make it better. Here's where unwinding comes in, and really being rigorous about my work when I sit down to do it. We shall see.
On the other hand, I am carrying some feelings of dread around Phenomenology class tomorrow. Oh well.
Ooh, and going with my girl to see Schreier lecture about Algeria and Jews and France tonight--whee!
no subject
Also, I think I know what you mean by the ego and criticism thing. So much of my sense of self is bound up in "being smart," and being "good at school," so I really struggle with classes like Sign Language, where I suck.
no subject
no subject
and yeah, the ego stuff...is there a way to transfer it to being proud of the process, of being willing to work hard? obviously ego's not a very wonderful thing in the first place, but if we called it "self-confidence" instead...
no subject