tired
It's very strange to have people I otherwise feel the potential to be close to think that I'm a girl. It's really weird to not know how to deal with it, confront it--if I even should. I mean I think I should. But it's not exactly like I can say, "Excuse me dude, not to shift the tone of this otherwise chill conversation, but just so you know I'm not a girl, and am in fact much more of a lad." Especially when it ties in with all the complications of desire ie when I like a boy it definitely does not feel like a girl desiring a boy-- not that there is one model of how that goes, but trust me, it doesn't feel like any of the multiplicitous imaginary manifestations of that. Shit.
