despite all the amputations.

[starfrosting]

The best part of work is the chef, Val. He's fabulous, with that combination of take-no-shit and sweetness that makes me like people. Yesterday we talked about Stonewall. One day he brought me in my own box of gloves so I could use them while I did prep. He said,

"I know you just like snapping on those gloves!" And I do ;).

Something that sucks about work is that Dan Hayne (Heines? Haynes? Who the fuck cares) was there. Ordinarily I could handle that, but when he started about how my brother was the most annoying person from high school, I got pissed. When he asked what I'm studying and I told him Philosophy and Women's Studies, he said, "Ah, still with all that feminazi stuff?" I wanted to knife him. And when my stomach hurt so badly I eventually had to go home, digging my belly into my cutting board to release pressure while I chopped peppers, the sound of his little gnatty voice buzzing away about how to grill the shrimp was honestly more than I could bear. (I feel better now, thanks for asking.)

* * *
In other news...
Why do people think it's okay to use racial slurs? In the past 24 hours, I've heard "beaner" and "niglet," both in situations where I was expected to laugh.

Also, the other day I had a wonderful breakfast with Roary and Lisa. We were at Ma Dee's and this person in hir 50s came in. I read hir as a butch, which could be off. Rory leaned over and said, "What that?!" And I replied that I definitely thought the woman was a butch, or perhaps ze was a transguy. I tried not to flip shit. I just can't take that. What. Is. That. Like when at school my friend Hannah (who I know reads this, so darling, don't think I'm picking on you, I'm just calling you out on something that hurt me that I never talked about) gestured to this queer boy in our dorm and said the same thing. This shit from 2 friends who purport to love androgyny.

Even though I seem to be focusing on bad things in this entry, I actually think today's a pretty good day. Forgot to clock out though, so it'll suck if all the work I did today doesn't get me paid. Ah well. Good Shabbos.

Comments

[dogeeseseegod.livejournal.com]

... *stares blankly* ... sorry. I'm having trouble even remembering that incident. I think I sort of remember who I was talking about... it wasn't meant to offend -- it was a genuine question of "damn, what gender is that person?" having been raised with "boys and girls," it's hard to truly be able to accept androgeny at face value without wondering what the deal is. even though i DO love androgeny. i love it because it's so rare.
*trying hard not to be defensive*

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

Hi Hannah. I know I kinda set you up to be defensive, cos the more I remembered that 'incident' the more hurt I felt. Of course I know that you didn't mean anything by it...and we've all been raised with girls + boys...Anyway, I hope that me calling you out on this (wimpily, like months later...) doesn't upset you. I mean, I guess it kinda would. I certainly didn't mean it to.

[dogeeseseegod.livejournal.com]

yeah....it did upset me... this is not the first time you've used me as an example of stuff that pisses you off on your livejournal. but i do know it was thoughtless of me to say that. i realize that now. truthfully, i didn't really think about it at all at the time. you think about gender issues so much more thoroughly (that's a major understatement, I'd say) than anyone else I know. of course you would be much more careful and thoughtful about how you think and speak about it! I seem like the biggest oaf by comparison, even though I feel like I'm extremely open minded and non-judgemental. i ought to talk to you more about this kind of thing, maybe i'd actually learn something. ;)

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

Well, yer certainly not an oaf, that's for sure.
And yeah, we can talk gender shite if you want, but I'd be equally happy to just drink coffee and *chat* with you...cos despite the fact that I've bitched on here about ways friends have upset me, um, I still like 'em.