some bois are bigger than others
Mar. 20th, 2005 09:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starfrostingOkay, so it's been a long hiatus for me. Here's what's up: I took a wrong turn on 66E and ended up giving myself a little fieldtrip in DC. I'd like to take a moment to give It was hell getting out of there, and then I got directions which didn't work (maybe my fault) and more directions that didn't work (again, probably my fault) and somehow I ended up going fucking *south* and ending up down by the Shenendoah River. I got out at a gas station where 2 women were working, one of whom had hair like lemon meringue pie. "How can I get to I95N?" I asked. "Where ya trying to get, honey?" they asked. "Philly," I replied. "Philadelphia? Honey, Pennsylvania's about 4 hours away." Ugh. But I made it home.
My visit to Virginia was I'm not really sure what to say except Evren is brilliant and beautiful and hospitable and we talked polyamory and femme politics til 6am the first night I was there, and Sinem is a charming funny and probably a little shy boy who I have to own up to being a bit crushed out on, in the sense that I want to steal away on a pirate ship with him. Heh. Ev made delicious dinner and we drank wine I liked (red and some white that tasted like honey) and I made off with one of her personal copies of the Marx/Engels reader because, well, yeah.
Brooklyn with Cristina had its A lot of the downs centered on gender trouble. Oh, what, the boi can't deal when his partner has shit of her own to deal with?*
*please note: my use of personal pronouns in this sentence ought to be taken with a shaker of salt.
A lot around her not feeling like a woman lady or a girl, and how these woman identities have painful personal histories, and how the ways in which I've perceived her for the most part have been predicated on me eroticizing what I've perceived as her girl-ness...how I tend to eroticize difference (in a lot of circumstances, other than the whole majorly-constitutive "I like other butches and queer boys an awful lot" thing) while she tends to eroticize sameness...and my own resentments and fears around letting go, to an extent, of a (butch/femme) dynamic that I evidently found to be really meaningful in some ways. So that was tough. There was a lot of me being silent and staring off at the subway ads, etc. But there were also really beautiful moments that convince me of the, um, meaningfulness of this relationship. Yeah. Plus, Da Lypstixx at the Slipper Room!
And having her at home was an absolute fucken delight.
Seeing Rory on St Patrick's Day? !!! Plus Harp and cheap Scottish whiskey! (Which would, maybe, be Scotch?) And lots of spittin'!
And uh, Oh, weirdness. On the way back from school I was really caffeinated as I'd mentioned and those themes (me being poly and my mom and now my dad thinking I'm a slut, my mom and my dad trying to understand my transness, etc) kept emerging over break. Wow, try discussing yr relationship to yr body--mainly yr tits-- with yr dad. I'm beginning to think Brendan is right and I should lay off on the whole "honest disclosure is the best policy" thang. I mean, to an extent. So in addition to all of that there was general parental tension that almost ruined my time at home in that I had really wanted to see my family and then it sorta sucked. But then I made delicious homemade samosas and coconut chutney and had a long talk with my mama and everything is as alright as it's gonna be. You know.
And no, I'm not a mama's boi.
much love, and off to wine and my queer theory paper---
My visit to Virginia was I'm not really sure what to say except Evren is brilliant and beautiful and hospitable and we talked polyamory and femme politics til 6am the first night I was there, and Sinem is a charming funny and probably a little shy boy who I have to own up to being a bit crushed out on, in the sense that I want to steal away on a pirate ship with him. Heh. Ev made delicious dinner and we drank wine I liked (red and some white that tasted like honey) and I made off with one of her personal copies of the Marx/Engels reader because, well, yeah.
Brooklyn with Cristina had its A lot of the downs centered on gender trouble. Oh, what, the boi can't deal when his partner has shit of her own to deal with?*
*please note: my use of personal pronouns in this sentence ought to be taken with a shaker of salt.
A lot around her not feeling like a woman lady or a girl, and how these woman identities have painful personal histories, and how the ways in which I've perceived her for the most part have been predicated on me eroticizing what I've perceived as her girl-ness...how I tend to eroticize difference (in a lot of circumstances, other than the whole majorly-constitutive "I like other butches and queer boys an awful lot" thing) while she tends to eroticize sameness...and my own resentments and fears around letting go, to an extent, of a (butch/femme) dynamic that I evidently found to be really meaningful in some ways. So that was tough. There was a lot of me being silent and staring off at the subway ads, etc. But there were also really beautiful moments that convince me of the, um, meaningfulness of this relationship. Yeah. Plus, Da Lypstixx at the Slipper Room!
And having her at home was an absolute fucken delight.
Seeing Rory on St Patrick's Day? !!! Plus Harp and cheap Scottish whiskey! (Which would, maybe, be Scotch?) And lots of spittin'!
And uh, Oh, weirdness. On the way back from school I was really caffeinated as I'd mentioned and those themes (me being poly and my mom and now my dad thinking I'm a slut, my mom and my dad trying to understand my transness, etc) kept emerging over break. Wow, try discussing yr relationship to yr body--mainly yr tits-- with yr dad. I'm beginning to think Brendan is right and I should lay off on the whole "honest disclosure is the best policy" thang. I mean, to an extent. So in addition to all of that there was general parental tension that almost ruined my time at home in that I had really wanted to see my family and then it sorta sucked. But then I made delicious homemade samosas and coconut chutney and had a long talk with my mama and everything is as alright as it's gonna be. You know.
And no, I'm not a mama's boi.
much love, and off to wine and my queer theory paper---
