blessing the path

[starfrosting]

Ahhhh...

my calling?

Is it?

I wrote to Jeanette about it, to ask her advice as a philosophy student. She said:

So, though nobody likes this question i have to ask it: are you
really sure that you want to get a PhD in philosophy? You
have to understand that the first thing any grad student or
professor feels the need to do is to convince you to not go.
There's only one reason to go, and so many reasons not to
go. If it is at all possible for you to do what you want to do
with your life without a phd in philosophy, then i wouldn't do it.

I feel like what she has to say is pretty right on, from what both Uma and Jami have told me. And I mean, I guess the thing is...Even though my primary passion is feminist philosophy (Grosz, Butler, Braidotti, etc) I still feel like I need a fucking solid background in philosophy of all kinds to be able to do that and teach it and whatever. I can't think of a better way to be rigorously schooled (as it were) than philosophy. I guess then the question emerges, Does it make sense to do this if you want to do gender studies just as much as philosophy? If you anticipate teaching gender studies/feminist theory just as much as you anticipate teaching philosophy? I feel like yes. But I am flailing.

I feel called. But I don't know if that's just my own projection. It seems like a wicked hard path to embark on unless it's what you have to do.

So, is it what I need to do with my life? I think so...