desire is the root of suffering...

I miss school.



And Kaia's songs just about fit exactly where I feel: last night, I kissed Delilah/ooh I don't even know her/When will I see her again? When will/I see her again?/Delilah...Do/you believe/in love at first sight?/I do, I do...
which I guess is stupidly and pathetically lovelorn, irrationally.



So to distract myself from longing to see someone I've only met once, as well as from ever-gathering tensions + bullshit with my mom on my only day off since being home before I have to go work, I'm gonna just say that I miss school. Yesterday I kept thinking about winter, walking to Cushing to visit Kate, trekking across Noyes Circle to stay up til 4 with Cristina drinking beer and talking Foucauldian feminist politics. I miss my friends there. I miss having a little colorful room where caffeinated I sit down to slam out papers. I miss going to class and taking notes and I am eager for my classes. Eager and scared. It's gonna be so hard. Mmm.

I have to go have a cigarette (9 more to go before I have to quit!) so I don't start crying. Then I will work out. Then I'll probably cry. Or read.