Country Death Song

The sky is so blue and I am soo tired. I keep wanting to hear women singing sad and syrupy scratched and I want a love like one of those long-stem country songs. Thick clumps of white clouds smelling like sweetgrass dragging their way across that sky, the sunlight polarized and pink cutting the trees into dark gnarled silhouettes. How could two boys who are “really” girls have that pale blue kind of love? I admit I still fall back to that truth effect of sex, layers of determination and dignity peeled back and distilled to the pull of fingers. The simple push of hir palms against my back to the boards of some worn wooden house growing in the direction of the wind, hay seeds in the fuzz of my hair. This boy/girl thing is always there for me, for us, but somehow in gravelly tunes that twang against the worn wood of summer fences it’s not there, just heartache and gin and maybe hand-rolled cigarettes shared hunched out the smeared-dirt old glass window. Maybe if I could move my tired limbs outside and pull the sun into my mouth it would pull that person to me, but it’s past solstice, it’s near suppertime and I just can’t believe the damn sky is still so blue.

The Law of the Father.

So I was gonna write a fun tongue-in-cheek thing about this 80s aerobic fitness record I got and how anti-feminist, fucked up, and fun it was. But no.

Instead I get to watch Rick Santorum say "the evidence is in." How civilization depends on marriage. How marriage between a man and a woman is vital to the continuation of civilization, namely through breeding children to continue that society and then raise them within that family structure.

That fucker. (He just said a bunch of shit that I wrote down but which disappeared.) Now he's talking about 'some healthy form of masculine identity' now that women have assumed traditional roles of manhood. Men have an identity crisis! he says. "The traditional role of a man is no longer there. When you rob someone of a role that they think they have, then you get this," gesturing to a chart showing what happens to children raised without fathers. Before he had a big blue poster with a busy white family with 2 kids on it, entitled "The Benefits of Marriage for Children." I cannot fucking believe this. This government making it out as though heteropatriarchy is the cultural be-all and end-all, the ideal...that "our laws should reflect what is best for that man, for that woman, and for those children."

He is so angry. He is soo threatened. The gender police work overtime, it's true. His little squinty arrogant face is twisted with righteousness and forebording. "This is a serious assault!" he warns.

I just love the idea of reproducing culture through children! I love the idea of women as chattel who breed the nation! I love that these people fucken talk about protecting people and then keep sending them off to die in wars for profit. This is making me want to be pro-"gay" marriage in a way I never have before.

Fuck this heterosexist breeder bullshit. I hate this government.