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godchild + labor contingency
Nov. 7th, 2007 10:42 amToday I put my music onto my work computer, and while it didn't transfer my playlists (I wonder how you do that?), it sure is wonderful to listen to my whole library while I plug away. It sounds sad to say, but a nice strong cup of hazelnut machine coffee tempered into iced coffee with milk and ice + Birth of the Cool equals a much happier Wednesday.
Today a kid from Vassar who is helping me spread the word about Queer Cuny VIII looked at my email address and commented that it didn't seem worthy of my abilities. True. It's not. Malaise here that I've realized, through conversation with the girl who trained me, is totally justified by weird loops of favoritism and barely-palpable talk behind doors and over heads. It's strange to be in a situation and not know whether it's worth exerting the energy one way or the other.
Actually, that's an important part of my work right now: where and how am I exerting energy, how am I holding it, how am I shifting it? Putting my energy into power (whether still, cupped in the bowl of my belly, or more dynamic) rather than grinding away in frustration. Not just trying to wipe all my faults and frustrations away, as both![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chemalfait and loveandpower have pointed out, but finding how to hold them better, make space to sit with and transform them slowly as necessary.
Today a kid from Vassar who is helping me spread the word about Queer Cuny VIII looked at my email address and commented that it didn't seem worthy of my abilities. True. It's not. Malaise here that I've realized, through conversation with the girl who trained me, is totally justified by weird loops of favoritism and barely-palpable talk behind doors and over heads. It's strange to be in a situation and not know whether it's worth exerting the energy one way or the other.
Actually, that's an important part of my work right now: where and how am I exerting energy, how am I holding it, how am I shifting it? Putting my energy into power (whether still, cupped in the bowl of my belly, or more dynamic) rather than grinding away in frustration. Not just trying to wipe all my faults and frustrations away, as both
chemalfait and loveandpower have pointed out, but finding how to hold them better, make space to sit with and transform them slowly as necessary.
