well, now it makes sense, doesn't it?

"In this culture, gender attribution, like gender assignment, is phallocentric. That is, one is male until perceived otherwise. According to a study done by Kessler and McKenna, one can extrapolate that it would take the presence of nearly four female cues to outweigh the presence of one male cue; one is assumed male until proven otherwise. That's one reason why many women today get 'sirred' whereas very few men get called 'ma'am.'"
(-kate bornstein)

Which explains why that dude called me sir last night when I paid for my Bass. Jesus H. Christ.

It's not that it bothers me per se when people mistake me for a boy; in fact, that doesn't bother me. What *does* bother me is that people don't seem to have any fine-tuned sense of gender...My tits weren't visible (thanks to my oh-so unfashionable parka) and I've got short hair and so therefore I'm "Sir?"

"One is assumed male until proven otherwise." Well, here's to have no subject-hood in patriarchy! Cheers.

pointlessly anxious? why i never

So there's this rocking girl at school who I've made out with before who evidently is into me in one way or another, which is really cool. She's punk rock idealistic and hot and all. So why am I all freaked out about going to this fun activist-party in her room tonight?

Well, I'm freaked out cos now there's this expectation that *something* happen between us, and I feel lame for just wanting to slam dance around and make out. It's weird that I feel this unspoken obligation now to play butch to her femme and like seduce her and move our making out to some more "intense" form of hooking up...I mean, maybe this is all in my head. But I know that if she were a boy I would have no doubt about defining my boundaries, for whatever silly reasons they're there. Is it prudish that I just want to dance and drink and kiss her awesome mouth and go back to my bed?

...Not to reveal all of my awkward inner workings, or anything.



to add insult to injury, school is really overwhelming me right now. I think that's why this girl-crushing-on-me thing is stressful, rather than fun. I just can't handle fuck-all right now.