starfrosting | saving grace

Two songs in my head right now:
I think I lost it/let me know if you come across it/let me know if I let it fall along a back road somewhere/money can't replace it/no memory can erase it...

and

Can't say I've ever been faithful/except to G-d/never thought I could call anywhere home/til I fell asleep here in your arms/cos your love's my only saving grace/you caress my heart, kiss my face...

Not necessarily related, but an interesting and telling synthesis nonetheless.

I feel pretty I'm sure most of that is cos Matt's been on about the apocalypse for the past few months and it's starting to wear off, but still. In song lyrics. In the moment when I step out of the gas station and my car is the only one in the huge expanse of pavement and black night, the moon way too far away. In the fact that once I finally get my damn car on the road (off its iceblock parking space where its wheels wouldn't turn) and then my fucking tire rips off on the Taconic, southbound on my way to Wesleyan.

I mean I certainly hope something awful was averted by me not making it down there because fuck I wanted to see Bea and Zach and Paige and Brian et al. Like maybe my presence would have kicked something awful into effect, or something, cos g-d knows I sure was foiled every step of the way.

-packing (my room)
-finishing my paper
-researching and obtaining a new tire so I can drive home

Things that will happen:
-stoned
-half-assed packing
-sleep

I don't know what to say guys, I'm really run down and just want to soak up sunshine and clean running water.

Maybe I should at least crank out another page of this paper that was due technically extended-date of today.

Si called and that pulled a pebble out and let overflow joy! flow, but of course I'm feeling apocalyptic and that's a hard state to have a conversation w/someone.