you look like carp!- well, I feel like ship.

[starfrosting]

So you know that odd combination of sadness that arises out of benadryl-sleepiness, school stress, and leaving home tomorrow? Well, I sure do. Right now I feel really weird. I slept for 3 hours from 4-7, which I attribute to the aforementioned medication-induced sleepiness, but also probably in part due to just being down in the dumps.

I didn't get much work done *at all* over break. (But I can do that at school.) I'm also feeling displaced because (sigh, I'm such a dork) my mom is working late, and I feel like I have to talk to her about a whole bunch of stuff before I go back to school and there's no time and...Mainly I'm just incredibly anxious over applying for this internship. I have to make a resume, which I don't have, and a cover letter, which I don't even know about at all, and answer really simple, pointed questions that bring up all sorts of insecurities. Like, what prior experience do I have working w/low income and trans communities? Aghhh.

And also, if I do get this internship, how would it work? Would I have to stay w/family friends in the city? Or would I bus up there every day?--

On the plus side, I am going to see Kate and Lisa in a couple hours. Hopefully I won't still feel shitty by that time. And also, as worked up as I am about not being home with my family (funny how that only hits right before I leave huh?), I *am* super excited to see my Vassar friends.

Yarrgh. I need to meditate. I tried today.

*not* feeling like I have to cry...

Comments

[jaclyn325mink.livejournal.com]

Oh I want to give you a hug! I called you last night but you weren't home. I was home, though, and I even drove by your house like a major stalker to see if maybe you were just not picking up the phone, but alas...

Anyway, hope you feel better, and many psychic well-being wishes.

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

dammit! I am sad that I missed you. I mean, I still miss you, but you know--
At the moment I feel better. I'm catching the psychic hugs.

[dogeeseseegod.livejournal.com]

*hug hug* I've been pretty down in the dumps through most of this break too... it'll be SO lovely to be back. 2 weeks is long enough to be home. I hope that things get discussed in due time with your mom, and i'm sure that within a few days of being back, things will normalize and you'll feel much better. and if you need to have a good cry (or *not* have a good cry?) i'm here for ya. see you very soon, liv.