we're moved by desire which isn't even heliocentric

[starfrosting]

like early April outside.
shined my shoes yesterday. that is one of the most satisfying things in the world. smelled like shoe polish all throughout my seminar.
buffing my nails.
filing off rough edges, in the grander sense.
my heart is all about opening, opening, opening wide once I have a cup of coffee. seriously.
caffeine works magic. diy anti-blues.
not anti the blues, just anti the 'end of the semester and I'm a fuck-up' dumps that yr down in.
only thing that would make it better is if a big wind picked up.
I think I deserve a nap. I wish I had Nietzsche on tape so I could fall asleep listening to Thus Spoke Zarathustra cos I don't want to use my eyes right now.
Or paragraphs.

love!

Comments

[kaiaroo.livejournal.com]

i wish caffeine was a still cure-all for me.

its just a necessity now. ever since that period around age 14 when all i did was drink cans of cola and play civilization until the sun came up and it was time to go to school again...

:sigh:

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

ooh, that sounds awful.
and I wish I could turn on the 'amazing caffeine euphoria whee!' at will. cos I just drank a diet Coke and it's sure as hell not doing it yet ;)

[kaiaroo.livejournal.com]

true.
at this point, i keep caffeine pills around... drink energy drinks with guarana extract, etc. sometimes it would probably catch a buzz, but im also on klonipin every day, so that might stop the euphoria right there.

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

Yeah I'd imagine klonopin plus caffeine equals something which is not a buzz.

[kaiaroo.livejournal.com]

well, that and pot seems to work.

ive tried all sorts of SSRIs and mood-stabilizers... and honestly this just seems like its affecting my body and mind in a much more simple way; its also the only thing to actually help so far.

but yeah, no more "buzzing on caffeine" after all the shit that ive put in my body. :shrugs: maybe if i quit for a long while...

[kristy-chan.livejournal.com]

You totally captured the caffeine zeitgeist.

[starfrosting.livejournal.com]

thanks!