thank fucking Christ.

Okay, first, please don't take my expletive to heart. Secondly,

Oh my fucking God, I might not have to write a paper about North and South! We have paper topics for my seminar, which means I might able to write about something else I haven't read instead! Yay!

In other news, 2 more pages on my easy-ass phyllo paper.

And then like 10 more for my incredibly soul-crushing capitalism paper.

And I am so excited about Thessaloniki. And I am so excited for Shabbat, and finally starting up a regular spiritual practice again. (Woke up, felt stressed, took deep breaths. It's a start.) And I am so excited at the muscles in my arms from weight-lifting class. And I am so excited to talk the trans with Kristy tonight. Annd even though I seem really excited ("Barstools excite me. I'm an excitable young lad") I'm also just really caffeinated and have too much work to do.

Please, God, and all my friends, if you have any tips for developing the ability to *concentrate,* please let me know. Thanks.

from reich-

googling "yrname needs":

-"Oli needs to go forward?"
-"Oli needs the following things: Setlists and DJ lists"
-"Oli needs a copy of the catalogue to put on the website"
-"Oli needs a physiotherapist"
-"OLI needs to supplement its Federal funds with funds from other sources."
(note: if you use neuter third-person pronouns for me, i will cry.)
-"oli needs friends"
-"Oli needs a wank"
-"Oli needs to be in a position to be in control."
(okay, stop laughing now!)
-"little oli needs some help..."
-"Oli needs to stop his BS."


Why yes, yes I do.

wah

Fuck.
So the philosophy courses offered on the program I want to do probably will not count towards my major---or, to put it more accurately, not enough of them will count toward my major, thereby fucking me.

I really did not consider the possiblity that ALL my j.y.a. plans would fall. I really, really do not want to be here in the spring.

And now I'm worried: is this a sign that switching my major/pursuing an academic course in philosophy is just going to continue to fuck me? I hope not. Cos I mean, if I had just stayed with women's studies, I would have my stupid SIT shit together by now and at the very least be in Amsterdam in the spring.

Oh, fuck. The sinking feeling in my gut is a really good way of killing the Shabbos buzz.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhghh

And now to suit up (ie, hop on my bike) to go talk with Kristy about trans stuff at Vassar. Hopefully that will be good, at least.